September 1, 2011

We see the same moon?

You are tired,
(I think)
Of the always puzzle of living and doing;
And so am I.

Come with me, then,
And we’ll leave it far and far away—
(Only you and I, understand!)

You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and—
Just tired.
So am I.

But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,
And knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart—
Open to me!
For I will show you the places Nobody knows,
And, if you like,
The perfect places of Sleep.

Ah, come with me!
I’ll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,
That floats forever and a day;
I’ll sing you the jacinth song
Of the probable stars;
I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream,
Until I find the Only Flower,
Which shall keep (I think) your little heart
While the moon comes out of the sea.

e. e. cummings
--

I'm feeling a little sad and sorry for myself tonight- the only cure I have for this is some hardcore (ha ha) managerial accounting homework, a sushi roll for dinner, and some good poetry. I feel like this summer already seems like a dream, and my brain is trying to play a desperate game of catch-up to the Berkeley academic grind/ the Berkeley social life/ the Berkeley frenetic activity. It's not a bad thing, but after such a restless summer- I am still restless, even back here cradled in the arms of Joseph Conrad and John Maynard Keynes.

There are so many things that I miss about home- the quiet streets at night and the rumbling cars down the expressway, the smell of the Esplanade on an empty weekend, my father and grandfather sprawled on the couch watching Ai when I get home from work at night. I am terrible with change, but I need to be [good at it]. I am too compulsive with my challenges to myself.

Image from the Leonid Tishkov exhibition, Private Moon, exhibited at the Singapore Biennale 2008 (via here). I still remember the exhibits really well- for some reason, I don't know why, they totally caught me and stuck in my mind even though I've seen countless other exhibitions [3] years later. This image reminds me of my apartment building at home, and the family that resides within it. I miss them.

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