January 26, 2012

Stern note to self

I read over my last post, and realized how terribly whiny I sounded. I WILL CEASE THIS AT ONCE. How I shall do so is by reminding myself how much I have to be happy about:
01. I am involved in organizations that I care deeply about. I do work that I believe impacts the world in a meaningful way. Today we had an info session for CREATE, and even though really few people showed up, it's fine. Even if we touched ONE person, even if our mission makes an impact on one person, that person is going to go into an afterschool classroom and be an amazing arts teacher. How can I sit around and be sorry for myself for answering tons of email when all the email indicates interest and community support for the cause I believe so strongly in?
02. I am taking classes that I LOVE. I've never actually read the entire Bible cover to cover, but I think I actually might this semester. I'm reading the works of really smart people and challenging myself so thoroughly, and this is EVERYTHING I came to college for- I can literally feel my brain expand with knowledge when I sit in class. Today I read some Russian Formalist theory and the book of Genesis. Will I EVER AGAIN have the opportunity to say such a pretentious sentence??
03. I am surrounded by people who love me. I just Skyped my dad (as usual I spent about 10 minutes looking at his ceiling) illegally while he was at work, and then he Whatsapped me 2 purple hearts.
I'm not going to talk about recruiting anymore. I'm banning all recruiting talk from this blog and from MY LIFE. I REFUSE to be stressed by this, or upset when things don't go my way, or upset at myself for not being enough. I am a student. I am a daughter. I am a granddaughter. That should be enough. That IS enough.

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