May 31, 2012

First thoughts on cross-country moving


Well. Here I am, safe and sound in Brooklyn, NY. Some thoughts:
1. Moving across the country for 2 months is hard. I feel as though I've torn away from my life in the Bay and have been plonked on some loose soil in Brooklyn. Walking to the subway station scares me. Leaving the apartment to walk to the small grocery store nearby terrifies me. I am so resistant to personal change.
2. My happiest discovery yesterday was that a branch of the Brooklyn Public Library is right at the end of my block. 
3. I am a minority in the neighborhood I'm living in. It feels incredibly odd. I feel incredibly out of place and nervous all the time, walking past these African-American boys loitering by the side of the street and staring, staring, staring all the time. They don't move or say anything, but something inside me freezes up and my face takes on this rigidness- am I secretly racist to feel this unsafe?? I have never felt so acutely like a minority in my life. 
4. I start work on Monday and I can't breathe, I'm so excited. At the same time though, the thought of waking up at 6am to make the trek to Manhattan exhausts me. Just thinking about leaving my staid, steady routine completely tires me. I have forgotten how to work hard, in just 3 short weeks of (almost) complete relaxation. 
5. It feels odd that- today I spent my day the same way that I would have spent it in Berkeley. I woke up lazily in the late morning, ambled to the kitchen to prepare coffee and oatmeal, then went to my laptop to do some work, with the occasional trips to the kitchen and to my bed. The only difference is that at 6.30pm, Ju Ju won't be buzzing at our front door; we won't be heading out for an evening run, I won't be having dinner with Dan tonight, we won't be cuddling to a movie and/or ESPN, I won't be able to nip down to Safeway for a late night adventure in the snack section. I think it's just a matter of adjusting to my new life here. I'm not unhappy, I think, I'm just- resistant to change. I think my excitement will exponentially increase once I start work and start being brave enough to leave the apartment alone (which must happen before Monday morning, clearly.)
EDIT: Happiness is restored. I just discovered the most AMAZING bakery 5 subway stops away. I just had a strawberry cheesecake and the most divine cream chocolate cake. I am about to explode with sugary goodness.

Images of the Golden Gate Bridge and the Brooklyn Bridge from Pep Ventosa's The Collective Snapshot, via Fast Co Design. More images at my Tumblr; aren't they blurrily stunning?

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